Young People, Take Heed

Times have changed since Rebekah Chamblit and Patience Boston were executed for infanticide in the 1730s. In a patriarchal, Puritan society, there was only one “right” way for a woman to live—as a meek, submissive, Bible-reading, modest-dressing servant to God and her husband. And the rules imposed on women were defended by the religious beliefs that touched every aspect of Puritan life. Today, however, we live in a very diverse society that is not dictated by the same religious undertones, and this allows people to explore their own interpretations of morality. So there’s no longer one, universally accepted “right” way for a woman to behave. Think about the Puritan view on sex—it was only, only within marriage. But contemporary society has varying views about it. Being a “slut” probably won’t gain you much social approval (and it may earn you censure), but what if you are in a “committed relationship” practicing premarital sex? If we were to go by primetime television and even a few birth control commercials, not only does premarital sex appear acceptable—it almost seems to be the norm. And while women who had extramarital affairs in the 1730s were labeled “adulterers,” today’s television programs often treat these situations with humor or sympathy, as they paint a picture of frustrated women trapped in passionless marriages; they just can’t help themselves, and who are we to judge them for that? Obviously, television isn’t the best reflection of real life, but it does reveal how much public opinion and perceptions have changed. I don’t know that women today are so dissimilar from women in Puritan society, but the societal standards that affect them are shifting. There seems to be much more gray area!

At TCU, I’ve seen these varying standards play out from time to time. I knew a girl who earned a definite reputation for being “slutty” by drinking too much, running out at night with lewd guys, and waking up in someone else’s bed. And she was stigmatized; many other girls looked down on her and talked (or gossiped) negatively about her wild nights on the town. But no one really cared or verbalized judgment about the girl whose boyfriend stayed the night at her house every now and then. There was a different reaction when someone was publicly parading her behavior and when something was done behind closed doors. I have a feeling that if the latter girl wound up pregnant, the tables would turn as her private deeds suddenly became very public. Nowadays, however, I'm not sure that negative opinions, gossip, stares, or even getting the cold shoulder are extremely strong deterrents for all young women engaging in promiscuous behavior. There is enough tolerance in our society that if you aren’t getting it from one group of people, you can often find it elsewhere if you're willing to change company. So in some cases, the emotional punishments lose a little of their effect.

After our class conversations, I do think it’s important to make some mention of how men fit into this big picture. Obviously, they were absent from the Puritan narratives and did not share in the punishment applied to the women they impregnated. I think we still see some of this today, as women who get pregnant out of wedlock are usually saddled with the responsibility of deciding how to deal with it, physically, financially, etc. Men have more choice of whether to walk away or stick around to shoulder the responsibility. It sometimes seems to me that in the latter case, we almost view these men with admiration, as if they’ve made a "noble" choice—not just owned up to their actions like they should. So as much as society has changed over time, the gender issue still seems to lag behind a bit.